


Will I Ever Meet Them?

by rainbowchristy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blind Dan Howell, Blindness, Guide Dogs, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowchristy/pseuds/rainbowchristy
Summary: Drawing on one's arm for their soulmate to see is usually a wonderful, magical experience. Phil sent a smiley face once but hasn't written anything since.Or: Dan is blind and doesn't see Phil's smiley face because of it. Also, Dan hates soulmates (until he finds Phil) because he will never see any messages.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Kudos: 16





	Will I Ever Meet Them?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Originally written in July, up to about 4K words. The rest of it is new. I’ve read over and changed the original stuff a fair amount because it was utter crap.

**Dan’s Pov**

When Dan was born, his parents realised just how different he was from the rest of the world. He was blind. As Dan was taken away, his mother sobbed quietly and his father comforted her.

When Dan was three, he acknowledged that he couldn't see, and understood that he never would. It’s not like he really knew what he was missing out on anyway, he’d never been able to see.

When Dan was five, he started school. According to his parents, this was “an opportunity for him to make some friends.” Dan didn't see the point in making friends, he didn't see the point in many things. Everything required much more focus than it would for a regular kid. For example, watching a movie: he had to focus hard on the audio to understand what was happening. And if children were talking like they usually would, he had no chance of comprehending the film.

Eighth grade was probably Dan's least favourite year. It was the year he learnt. Obviously, he learnt every year, but this was the year he learnt why he was so different. What being blind meant in the world they lived in.

"Okay, class. Settle down, please. We have a lot to cover today," the teacher began. Dan listened intently as everyone quieted down. “Today, we are learning about soulmates and how to find them,” the teacher continued. Dan's heart dropped immediately. He knew very little about soulmates but from what he did know, he hated the concept.

“Firstly, can anyone tell me the two types of soul mates?” the teacher questioned. Dan assumed one of the girls towards the front put her hand up because she began to speak.

“One type of soulmates are that of names; you're either born with your soulmates name on your skin or it can show up when your soulmate is born. The other type of soulmate is the more common version which allows soulmates to write or draw on their skin and have it show up on the other’s,” the girl explained.

“Very good. Does anyone know what affects the type you get?” After a short pause, Dan heard the same girl speak.

“It’s part of your genetics. The ‘X’ chromosome, I think,” the girl announced. She seemed stuck-up. Dan didn’t know her that well - he didn’t know any students well - but he thought she was likely the teacher’s pet.

“Good. Now, we’re going to quickly cover this but not in too much detail. It’s covered greater in year ten biology,” the teacher informed everyone. “Names are found on about three per cent of females and less than one per cent of males. This is because the name soulmate gene is recessive, meaning both parents have to pass it on through their 'X' chromosome for the kid to have it. Since males only have one ‘X’ chromosome, it’s rare for a male to have a name on their skin. However, it’s not unheard of. Occasionally, a male will pass his ‘Y’ chromosome on, but, with it, the soulmate name gene. Is this making sense so far?” Dan nodded his head despite being really confused. He could ask his tutor to explain it later.

“Has anyone in the room already met their soulmate?” the teacher questioned. Dan couldn’t see who responded but he assumed it was no one since the teacher asked another question. “Does anyone in the room have a name on their skin?” Dan heard light shuffling and a few whispers.

“That’s good. You’re destined to meet that person and when you do, you’ll know they’re your soulmate. Now, does anyone know why people don’t just write their name on their skin so their soulmate knows who they are?” The room was silent. “No one? Okay. Well, it’s because when this is attempted, it causes a lot of pain for both soulmates. However, if the name writing is unintentional, it will only hurt the person’s soulmate.” Whispering erupted in the class and Dan’s best friend leaned over from his seat next to Dan.

“This is interesting, isn’t it Dan?” Pj questioned. Dan nodded back. He appreciated Pj trying to engage him in the class but he wasn’t really in the mood to. Besides, why would anyone want to talk about something they hated. “Wanna hang out after school? My place?” he pressed on.

Dan nodded again, turning back to the teacher as she shushed everyone.

“Now now. I know this is exciting. The name writing is also pointless as aside from the pain it causes, the name doesn’t show up. Usually, when something appears on a soulmates arm, it’s a tingling feeling; a bit like pins and needles. Drawing on your arm and having it appear on your soulmates is a special, wonderful thing which each of you will come to appreciate in your own time.”

The rest of the lesson was spent learning about soulmates and, more specifically, how to find them. The topic made Dan hurt. It wasn’t physical pain, more like his heart was imploding in on itself and would soon just be a void sucking all the life out of him. He knew he would never be able to see any of his soulmate’s messages, any of the little things his soulmate tried to tell him to bring them together. A tiny part of Dan hoped his soulmate had his name, but the chances were incredibly thin. Different soulmate genes within pairs were incredibly rare with less than one hundred documented cases worldwide.

~~~~

Dan and Pj were walking back to his house. Dan had Rosie to help him now. She was Dan’s guide-dog who, when not helping Dan, loved to play with Pj. Pj, of course, loved the dog too but she nearly always had to help Dan get about his daily life without being hit by a car. They were approaching the last turn when Dan stopped walking.

“Dan? Are you okay?” Pj questioned, stopping as well.

Dan was shocked into stopping. His arm felt as if a knife was being dragged up it, cutting into the skin. He began to scream in pain, doubling over and curling in on himself. He let go of Rosie’s harness and clutched his arm as if to stop the blood from pooling onto the ground below him. He collapsed on the ground while Pj hovered over him, worrying frantically. Pj was speaking to him but all Dan could think about was the pain coursing through his veins.

He felt Rosie’s wet nose touch his back. She was affectionate for a guide-dog and always knew when Dan wasn’t okay physically or emotionally. Dan loved that about her; how she could always comfort him and make him feel better. Even though she couldn’t take away his problems, he always made him feel as though he could on his own. He focussed all his energy on rolling over and reaching for Rosie, holding her close. The pain subsided after a few minutes. Now it felt as if he’d burnt his arm, just a dull pain all over his inner arm. It stung a little but only enough to be a mild inconvenience.

Dan’s mind began to clear, finally being able to hear Pj’s calls.

“-an! Dan? Dan! Oh god! Are you okay?” Dan blinked tiredly up at his friend. When did he close his eyes anyway?

“Uh, I’m alright. Does my arm look okay?” Dan questioned, holding up his throbbing arm.

“It looks fine…” Pj answered slowly. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Dan sat up and gave himself a few seconds to breathe before standing.

“It was hurting like hell. Like someone took a knife and was just peeling the skin layer by layer. But, like, fifty times worse than that,” Dan explained the feeling as best he could. He felt Rosie brush past his legs so he reached down to pat her, grabbing the harness afterwards.

“We’re almost home. Mum can have a proper look then,” Pj said, beginning to walk again. Since Dan didn’t see or hear this, he was surprised when Rosie began leading him in the direction of Pj’s house. Pj’s mum would know what happened, she was a doctor after all. If she didn’t know, Dan had no idea who would.

**Phil’s Pov**

“Hey loser!” someone called from behind Phil, putting his hand on his shoulder. Phil spun to see his three tormentors.

“What do you want?” Phil spat. He was already annoyed by his awful lesson on cellular reproduction; he didn’t want to deal with them as well.

“Are you talking back to us? Bad move,” the tallest boy spoke. Phil was grabbed by his shirt collar and dragged into the disabled bathroom. “Chris learnt something pretty interesting in class today.”

The two boys following the leader pinned Phil into the corner, back against the wall. The boy speaking - Mark his name was - grabbed his arm and held it up.

“He learnt that writing your name on your skin has some pretty nasty side effects,” he continued.

Since Phil was the year above Chris, he already knew about soulmates and lots more. Mark - Chris’ brother - and the other boy whose name Phil couldn’t remember were both in the year above him. When he had learnt about them, he was greatly intrigued, running home to research more. He had drawn a smiley face on his arm that afternoon but never got a response and it washed off in the shower the next morning.

Phil watched as Chris - the one holding his arm - pulled out a pen and began to write Phil’s name. However, since Phil had done extra research, he also knew that it wouldn’t hurt him. He’d learnt that if it was unintentional, it wouldn’t hurt. This was one of those times. He didn’t want them writing his name, it wasn’t his intention and so, it wouldn’t hurt him. Phil, however, did know this would cause pain to his soulmate. He felt immensely guilty about that. Despite not having any control over the situation, he knew his soulmate was in agony currently. And he believed it was somehow his fault.

Phil watched as the boy wrote the letters of his name. P-H-I-L L-E-S-T-E-R. Once they finished, they noticed how little Phil was physically affected by the name writing.

“What the fuck?” the boy holding him to the wall said.

“Why aren’t you crying like a sissy?” the teen standing and watching asked.

Phil stood, shaking the boy off him which wasn’t too difficult since none of them actually thought he’d try to leave. He walked over to the doorway as they stood still, in shock.

“Maybe do some research when you get home,” Phil began, as he put his hand on the door to leave. “If the name writing is unintentional, it won’t hurt. It will only hurt the soulmate,” Phil explained. He turned and walked out of the disabled bathroom, quickly looking for another to wash the name off. His soulmate would in pain for as long as the words were there.

**Dan’s Pov**

“Hi, Peej. How was your day?” Pj’s mum questioned as she appeared in the entryway to greet them.

“Alright. Dan needs help. We were walking here and he started screaming in pain. He seems alright now, just out of it.” Dan subconsciously nodded. He was able to hear what was going on around him, but all he could think about was the pain. It was as if he had been drugged.

“Dan, honey?” Pj’s mum began, resting a hand on his shoulder. He dropped Rosie’s harness, trusting them to lead him safely. The Liguori's were basically a second family. They’d been friends for so long it were as if they were brothers; or maybe cousins were more realistic, since they had different parents. Dan heard Rosie’s paws’ pad on the ground as she walked away. Dan was lead to the couch and told to wait as she got the medical equipment.

“I’m fine, really,” Dan tried to insist. He was no longer in pain of any sort. His mind was just sort of clouded.

“You look fine. Whatever happened it wasn’t external. First aid isn’t going to help anything,” Mrs Liguori informed.

“What?! There has to be something! That doesn’t just happen for no reason!” Pj shouted angrily. His voice echoed through the house, full of fear.

Dan reached up for Pj from where he was seated, trying to assure the boy he was fine. “Dan…” he heard Pj begin. He now sounded slightly annoyed but also a little amused. “That’s not my arm,” he laughed out.

Realisation filled Dan and he quickly withdrew his hand from his friend’s hip, blushing. “Sorry,” he muttered. It had become a bit of a habit with Pj and him. Dan trying to grab his arm or something, and ending up at the wrong spot. Dan has tried to stop the habit after a particularly awkward time when his hand landed on Pj’s crotch.

“It’s a lost cause,” Pj laughed. “Wanna go to my room?” Dan nodded, being helped off the couch and up the stairs to the room, Rosie following behind.

~~~~

“Dan!” Pj’s mum called up the stairs, “Your mum is here to pick you up.” After no reply, she called out again, “Boys?” She made her way up the stairs to her son’s room. Knocking on the closed door, before opening it slowly. She found Dan and Pj asleep on his bed.

“Pj. Dan. It’s time to wake up. Dan’s Mum’s here to take him home,” she announced. The two boy’s groaned, half asleep.

“Where’s Rosie?” Dan questioned, realising his ball of fluff wasn’t at his side. She was always there when he woke up, even if he didn’t need her right away.

“Your mum already put her in the car.” Dan stood and was led downstairs by Pj’s mum, Pj claiming he was too tired to guide Dan safely.

**Phil’s Pov**

Walking into a new bathroom, Phil rushed over to the sink and began vigorously scrubbing his arm with water and soap. After it was removed and his arm was red from rubbing, he exited the bathroom, grabbed his bag from his locker and made his way home.

“I’m home, Dad!” Phil called through the house. He kicked off his shoes and entered the lounge to his dad busily typing away at his laptop. “Hi, Dad. What you working on?”

“Just work stuff. How was school?” his father inquired, not looking up to engage in a proper conversation. His parents had separated when he was four, and while he originally lived with his mum, he moved in with his dad when he was ten.

“Alright. Something really messed up happened today,” Phil explained. His dad stopped typing and looked up to his son. “Some guys wrote my name on my arm. They’re in the year under me and must have just learnt about soulmates. Thing is, they didn’t know it wouldn’t affect me.”

“Oh,” his father said, “Did you wash it off?”

“Yes. As soon as I could. I know basically everything there is to know about soulmates. No way was I going to let mine suffer.” His father nodded proudly, happy his son was such a smart and caring person.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” His dad’s gaze turned to his laptop again as Phil went upstairs to begin his English homework.

~~~~

“Phil?” his dad said to get his attention. They were seated at the table, eating dinner.

“Yeah?” Phil replied.

“How would you feel about me seeing someone?” his dad questioned. Phil had started to take a sip of his water which he almost spat out.

“As in a relationship?”

“Yes. Would that be okay with you? I’ve met this lovely lady and I’d like to get to know her more if it’s okay with you. She has a son, around your age. I think he’s fourteen,” Phil’s dad explained.

“Uh, I guess?” Phil couldn’t see a reason to deny his father love so he agreed. That was another thing Phil knew about. Some people never found their soulmate, and while it’s often frowned upon, people sometimes get together with people who aren’t their soulmate. “Is it serious, Dad?” Phil questioned, wanting more information.

“Not really, I’d like it to be though. We’ve only been on one date but I wanted to make sure you were okay with it before we went on another.”

“You know I don’t mind having unorthodox parents, Dad. I love you and mum equally. And while it might not have worked out the first time, maybe this one will go better.”

“I hope so.”

The rest of their dinner was ate in silence with Phil excusing himself to bed after.

~~~~

Phil walked through his front door, having just finished another boring day of year ten. He heard some shuffling in the kitchen, and so, worked his way over to see what was happening.

“Hey, bud. You’ve met Laura before. This is her son, Pj,” his dad explained. It was true he’d met Laura before. She seemed nice enough, but in Phil’s mind, she’d never be as good as his loving mother. Phil then remembered the second part of his father’s sentence. He looked over to find a boy sitting in the corner. He had a mop of brown curly hair set on his head and bright green eyes. He looked a little shy as he smiled up at Phil from the table.

“Hi. I’m Phil,” Phil said, taking a seat opposite the boy.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Pj replied.

“Wanna head up to my room? Give those two some privacy so we don’t have to witness their lovey-dovey moments,” Phil joked. The boy nodded so Phil led them upstairs to his room.

“So, I have a feeling we will be seeing a lot more of each other. Tell me about yourself,” Phil announced, sitting on his bed. It was an odd contrast, one outgoing boy and the other, seemingly a lot more reserved and quiet.

~~~~

“Bye. It was awesome hanging out. We should do it again sometime soon,” Pj said, leaving with his mother.

Over the few hours they had had together, the boy had opened up and they knew heaps about each other. Also, in the process, finding out that they went to the same school and were into many of the same things. In all honesty, the only reason they likely weren’t friends before then would be because they were two years apart, meaning they didn’t share any classes.

**Dan’s Pov**

Dan was led by Rosie into his house. Pj following quietly behind.

“Hello, boys. Lovely to see you again, Pj,” Dan’s mum said, standing in the entrance hallway of the house.

“Hi Mrs Howell.”

“You boys can head to Dan’s room. Honey, let Rosie get some water, she looks exhausted,” his mother ordered. Dan did as she said, a little annoyed that she’d told him off for not noticing his dog  _ looked _ tired.

Dan knew the layout of his house. He knew it well enough to move around without any help at all. However, although he could do this, it didn’t mean he wanted to. Pj knew this and so, held Dan’s hand, arms looped, and led him to his room.

Once inside, Dan sat on his bed and Pj sat on the beanbag next to it.

“So, tell me about this boy who will one day become your brother?” Dan questioned. He knew Pj had met his dad’s girlfriend’s son yesterday as he had complained about it all day. He didn’t complain about the boy himself, in fact, he’d said the boy was quite nice. Pj had complained about how he'd much rather spend his afternoon with Dan than some stranger he’d likely one day be forced to live with.

“Let’s see. His name is Phil. He’s in year ten and goes to our school,” Pj began. Over the next hour, Pj talked of his afternoon, often going on tangents unrelated to the previous day, such as: “why do giraffes have such long limbs surely giving birth to that would hurt.”

~~~~

The next day at school was as per usual. Sitting at the back of his class, limited to only his hearing to learn. It was kind of ironic that during the lesson he just had, they completed a ‘learning style quiz’ and Dan’s had said he was a visual learner. While everyone else found this amusing, he just found it irritating. Not only could he not see, but he also lost the ability to learn through his apparent  _ “learning style” _ .

Dan was navigating the hallway to his next class. He was alone, which was unusual; most days, Pj helped him get to his classes but he was off sick. Dan walked to the left, using his cane and the lockers to help him navigate. People tended to move around him to make his life easier but this person had apparently not noticed. He was quickly forced to stop walking as he bashed into someone. How did he not notice them there?

“S- sorry,” Dan mumbled. He stepped out to manoeuvre around the person but was held back. The person had grabbed his wrist; his left wrist. The wrist holding his cane. “Sorry,” Dan repeated a little louder, fearing that the person hadn’t heard the first time.

“It’s ok, no need to apologise. I was just wondering if you wanted help getting to your next class?” the boy spoke. They seemed friendly enough but after years of bullying in primary school, Dan had learnt not to trust strangers.

“No thanks. I’m fine,” Dan said, emphasising his point by pulling his hand back. This victory was short-lived as the student grabbed his wrist again, this time in a firmer grasp.

“Are you sure? What class do you have? I want to help,” the stranger persisted. Dan caved knowing he wasn’t strong enough to free himself from the student’s grasp this time.

“AP English,” Dan mumbled. He knew the school’s layout well; knew how many steps it took before turning to get to each class he had. He’d know straight away if the stranger tried to take him the wrong way.

“Okay. Let’s go,” the student announced, suddenly walking quickly down the hall. Dan was terrified. Even Pj, who he trusted with his life, walked slower than this so Dan felt as safe as possible. Aside from that, this student was dragging him by his left wrist so he couldn’t even use his cane.

Dan’s heart was racing as he desperately tried to pull away from their grip.

“Something wrong?” the voice questioned. It was full of concern but Dan still didn’t trust it.

“Who are you?” Dan questioned, realising he still had no idea who was leading him.

“You can call me Phil,” the boy replied. There was a clear smile in his voice but Dan still was unsure of this  _ Phil _ .

“Do you know Pj?” Dan asked, remembering he’d talked about a Phil that went to this school.

“Yes? Why? Do you?”

“He’s my best friend,” Dan stated matter-of-factly.

“Some best friend he is if he doesn’t help you get around,” Phil voiced, sounding annoyed. They were still stationary, Dan’s feet rooted to the ground, one wrist in Phil’s hand, the other trying to release his grip.

“He’s sick,” Dan announced. He was annoyed now that this Phil guy assumed he was that terrible of a friend. Of course Pj helped him get around. More often than not, he turned up late to his own classes because of it. Dan knew, however, that Pj never got in trouble for this as all his teachers knew he was helping Dan. “He usually helps me. Now let me go before we are  _ both _ late for class,” Dan insisted.

“I’m going to help-”

“Excuse me! What are you two doing in the hallway? You should be at your next class by now, bell’s about to ring,” a new voice spoke. It sounded authoritative so Dan took it as a teacher.

“I was just trying to help Dan to his next class,” Phil explained. Dan then took over, not wanting to take a single step further with Phil.

“I never wanted help in the first place,” Dan added.

“Mr Lester, be on your way. I’ll take over from here,” Dan heard. He sighed in relief as Phil let go of his wrist. He heard footsteps padding away and others moving closer. “Dan, would you like my help?” Dan still couldn’t recognise the voice; it sounded familiar but he couldn’t pinpoint it.

“Sorry; who are you?”

“Miss Van Vliet, Dear. Would you like my help to get to class?” she asked again. Dan remembered Miss Van Vliet. She was one of Dan’s favourite teachers. He had her for two years in primary school before Dan moved to high school, only for her to follow after a year.

“Yes, please. Thank you,” Dan replied. He felt the teacher loop her arm him is right, allowing him to use his cane in his left.

“What class, Dearie?”

“AP English. Room 2C,” he answered. They walked quietly to Dan’s class. He walked in late but his teacher took little notice, releasing another teacher was with him. He would never get in trouble for being late anyway. All the teachers were far too scared to pick on the blind kid.

**Phil’s Pov**

Phil was pissed. That much he could say. Who was he to bump into Phil and talk so rudely to him? Okay, yeah, he was blind. Wasn’t exactly his fault he ran into him. But it was his fault he was rude after Phil had offered to help.

“Mr Lester,” his teacher announced as he walked into the room, “Why are you late?”

“I’m sorry, Sir. It won’t happen again.” Phil rushed to his regular seat next to Chris and listened as his teacher began to talk about surds.

Chris wrote a message on his arm and showed it to Phil:  _ You’re late? _

Phil tore out a piece of paper and wrote his reply on that, not wanting to disturb his own soulmate.

_ Helping blind kid to class but he was an ass. _ While Phil wrote this, a word had appeared on Chris’ skin, just under the message he’d written:  _ What? _

_ Sorry. No paper. _ Chris wrote back before reading Phil’s message.

Chris nodded and looked back to the teacher who was explaining something on the board.

After class, Phil grabbed his gym clothes and got changed. Gym was boring as ever. One thing he did enjoy was no longer having to be afraid of Chris. Before this year, he’d been one of Phil’s bullies but upon realising once his two older friends left, he’d be alone, he changed over to Phil’s side. They actually had a lot in common and hit it off which was unexpected from everyone who knew them.

Once gym ended, Phil had a quick shower and got changed into regular clothes since it was his last lesson. Chris came home with him as planned and they spent the afternoon in his room, playing a variety of video games.

**Dan’s Pov**

Days without Pj were difficult. He hated to say he was reliant on his friend but it was the truth. He could get around without help to an extent, but he occasionally got lost or lost count of his steps, especially if he paused to have a conversation. If this happened, he was usually stuck and had to wait for help.

Dan had originally planned to spend the afternoon at Pj’s house but obviously that wasn’t going to happen. Any other day, his mum came to pick him up since it was, according to her, “dangerous for him to walk home alone.” Thing is, his mum thought he was going to Pj’s so she was likely taking the afternoon off to catch up on her favourite tv shows.

Dan began to walk home. He knew it wasn’t that dangerous despite what his mother said. He knew the number of steps to take before he had to turn and he had his cane to avoid tripping or walking into someone.

“Mum! I’m home!” he called out through the house when he stood in the entryway. Toeing off his shoes, he heard footsteps pad on the ground towards him.

“Bear, what are you doing back here? I thought you were going to Pj’s.”

“I was, but he’s sick.” Dan slid his backpack off and knelt down to scratch Rosie - who’d come over to greet him - behind her ear.

“Dan, why didn’t you call me? You know how I feel about you walking alone.”

Dan sighed, standing up again. “Mum, I’m going to have to do things on my own eventually. You may as well get used to it.”

“Daniel. While you live under my roof, you will follow my rules and I don’t feel comfortable with you walking around outside without any help. I’m okay if you have Rosie but not when you’re completely on your own. You could have gotten lost. Someone could have taken advantage of you.”

“I’m sorry, Mum; I won’t do it again.”

~~~~

Dan was at Pj’s house, talking about soulmates. Apparently Pj had an idea of how to find out who theirs were.

“I know we can’t write our names but what if we used brail. Would that count?”

“Of course it would count, Pj!” he exclaimed, pulling his arms away before Pj could start writing.

“What about the three letters back code thingy?”

“Peej, people have tried every way to write names. I don’t think you’ll be the one to crack the code if there even is a way to write names.”

“Well, aren’t you in a good mood?”

“Sorry. I just hate talking about soulmates. I’ll have no way to know if they message me. Hell, they could have just written something and I’d never know.”

“Dan, you’d still get the tingly feeling. Why don’t I write something for you? What do you want me to write? Make it something that hints to who you are.”

“I don’t know. I don’t really care.” Dan felt his arm be taken and a pen was pressed to it. “What are you writing?” he questioned, not liking the idea of Pj writing something without him knowing.

“Blind,” Pj replied as he pulled his arm away.

“Peej! What the hell?!” he tried to pull his arm away but Pj had tightened his grip.

“What? It’s a good hint.”

“Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”

“Sorry, but it worked. They replied.” In Dan’s anger, he must have missed the tingly feeling.

“What did they say?” he asked, suddenly much more interested in the conversation than he was just three seconds ago.

“Just a question mark. I added ‘I’m’ to the start.”

“What did they say now?” he questioned, feeling the pins and needles.

“‘Dan?’”

“Yeah?”

“No, that’s what they wrote. They wrote your name with a question mark. Dan! They know you!” Pj exclaimed excitedly, shaking Dan around by the shoulders.

“Peej!”

“Sorry!” He stopped shaking Dan. “I just got a bit over-excited.” 

“No shit.”

He took Dan’s arm again and wrote out a reply:  _ Yes! Who are you? _

_ Can’t say, duh Who’s this anyway? _

_ Pj, his biffle _

_ Ok, Pj, tell him to meet me at the river at 9 am on Saturday _

“Pj! You need to tell me what’s happening.”

“Oh, right, sorry. Um, they know it’s you. And that I’m writing and reading the messages. They say to meet at the river at nine am on Saturday.”

“On my own? What if they try to kill me?”

“Dan, this is your soulmate we’re talking about. I don’t think they’re going to kill you. Take Rosie with you.”

~~~~

So that was how Dan found himself next to the river, absentmindedly patting Rosie’s head which was resting in his lap. He listened intently for any sounds of rustling, signalling his soulmates arrival.

After a few minutes, he heard the footsteps he was listening for.

“Hello?” he called, turning towards the footsteps.

“Dan.” He recognised the voice, but couldn’t place it.

“Are you-”

“Yes. I am.” Dan was cut off as the boy sat down next to him.

“And who are you?” he questioned directly. He felt slightly rude not recognising them but he was blind so he was only relying on their voice. They should understand his struggle.

“Not saying,” he joked. Dan didn’t find it funny on the other hand. He was just irritated. How was it fair that his soulmate got to know who he was but Dan had to rely solely on his ears which weren’t helping to answer his question? “You’ll get it eventually. Just so you feel safer though, you do already know me.” That didn’t help anything; Dan had already worked out he knew the person, just didn’t know which person he knew that was sat next to him.

~~~~

Dan and his soulmate had been dating for about a month and Dan still didn’t know who he was. While Dan was really pissed about the entire situation, his soulmate seemed to enjoy the mystery.

They were sat (half-lying) on the couch at his soulmate’s house and his dad was out of the house. They were the only two home.

“I can’t believe you haven’t worked out who I am yet,” he laughed.

“I can’t believe you haven’t told me. How am I supposed to know? I can’t pair your voice with anyone else I know. Your voice to me is just the voice of my soulmate. I haven’t even told my mum I met you because she’ll ask who you are and it’s embarrassing that I don’t know!” he said this quite aggressively without even meaning to.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise it pissed you off so much.”

“Well, you should have. So are you going to tell me now?”

“My name’s Phil and-”

“Phil!?” Dan bolted up from his seat on the couch, causing Rosie to run over to him, ready to lead him where he wished to go.

“Dan, calm down. I said I was sorry.”

“I had no idea who you were! You could have been a fifty-year-old man for all I know!” Now Dan was shouting. He didn’t even know why he was shouting. He wasn’t mad that it was Phil; in fact he was more relieved. But his anger consumed his body and he did nothing to stop it.

“Do I feel like a fifty-year-old man?” Phil asked, referencing the time Dan asked if he was allowed to feel Phil’s face - he, of course, agreed.

“Phil, this isn’t funny!”

“Okay, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” he asked, his anger evaporating a little. Phil lightly touched his elbow in a silent request for him to sit back down. He didn’t sit back down. Sitting meant accepting Phil’s apology, would mean listening to his explanation, and he wasn’t ready to do that yet.

“Scared you wouldn’t want to be with me. My parents are soulmates but got divorced. Not all soulmates stay together, Dan. I figured if you got to know me first, you’d like me more. I was an ass the first time we met. If you knew straight away, hell, I don’t think we would have even held hands. I had planned on telling you after a couple days but I got scared, okay? I’m really sorry, Dan. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I- I need to think through some things.” Dan wobbled a little as he grabbed Rosie’s lead. He told her “caminar,” and told Phil “I’ll see you later,” as he left. Dan walked down the pavement and didn't turn back.

**Phil’s Pov**

He knew he messed up. He should have told Dan who he was earlier. He shouldn’t have kept it a secret in the first place. Now he’d lost his soulmate and he’d be alone forever unless he wanted to be shunned by all of society.

Dan had left a few hours ago and he wanted to call him but knew he couldn’t. It was best to let Dan calm down on his own. He’d come back once he was ready; wouldn’t he?

It was three full days before Phil had heard anything from Dan. There was a knock at his door while he ate lunch. It was a Sunday so he was left to eat alone, his dad out on a last-minute work call. Once he heard the knock, he stood and bolted to the door, thinking it was Dan. He was wrong, it was Pj. But that was a close second considering how close friends they were.

“Peej. What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to yell at you. I’ve been comforting Dan for the past three days. He’s been crying his eyes out because of you! What the fuck were you thinking? Why didn’t you tell him it was you?”

“Peej, I’ve apologised and explained the situation to him. I really didn’t think he’d be this upset about it. Does he ever want to see me again?”

“I- I’m honestly not sure. He’s really upset. Look, I’ve got to get home for lunch but I thought you should know what you’ve done to him.” Pj stepped off the small porch that surrounded the front door and stalked down the street, not turning around to look at Phil’s shock and guilt-ridden face.

~~~~

**Dan’s Pov**

Dan took a deep breath in and out, lifting his hand to knock on the door. It was over two weeks ago since Phil revealed his identity and Dan had just now gained the courage to come back to his house and talk about it. He’d managed to convince his mum he was sick for two weeks so he didn’t have to go to school. She wasn’t very happy but knew something must have happened so she excused his  _ being sick _ .

He heard footsteps leading towards the door and silently hoped Phil still wanted to be with him.

“Hello, can I help you?” Not Phil, Dan knew that much by the voice.

“Hi. Does Phil live here?”

“Um, no. There’s no Phil in this household I’m afraid.”

“Oh okay; thanks anyway.” Dan turned and walked away, disoriented. If that wasn’t Phil’s house, he had no idea where he was. He’d only walked to Phil’s house once from the river but he did count his steps; he always counted his steps.

He sat down on the curb and shrunk his cane. Rosie had to go to the vet for a checkup and Dan had promised he wouldn’t go outside since his mum hated it. Of course, that was a lie since he was outside currently. He was  _ sick _ ; there was no logical explanation for him to go on a walk if he was off school sick.

He put his head in his hands and took a deep breath, trying hard to remain calm. He wasn’t very successful since a sob racked through his body and soon he felt tears roll down his useless eyes.

He sat there for what could have been hours, silently crying.

“Dan?” he heard someone ask. His head shot up at the voice, body tense. “Oh my god, Dan. What happened?”

Dan relaxed once he realised the voice belonged to Phil. He stood and extended his cane, wiping away the tear tracks on his face.

“Phil.”

“Dan,” he mimicked. “But seriously, are you okay?”

“I just got a bit turned around. Which house is yours?”

“Dan, my house is two blocks away...”

“Oh, well I found you anyway,” he joked, still a little shaken up at the idea of being lost.

“Why were looking for me? I didn’t think you’d ever want to see me again.”

“I don’t think  _ ‘see’ _ is the right word to use here, Phil. But no. I didn’t for a while but I realised I don’t want to live without you. The month that we dated for was one of the best in my life. I’m hoping we can at least be friends?”

“Dan, we’re soulmates whether we like it or not. I think we should accept that as fact. If you don’t want to date, that’s fine. But if you do want to, I’d like you to be my boyfriend.”

Dan reached forward, dropping his cane, preferring to hold Phil’s face. Once he found it, he thumbed over Phil’s lower lip and lent forward to kiss him. He didn’t respond for a few seconds and Dan began to pull away, thinking he’d gone too far. Their lips had only just disconnected when Phil pushed forward and kissed him back, wrapping his arms around his back to hold him close.

“Is it too soon to say I love you?” Phil asked once Dan pulled back to breathe. Stupid lungs needing to be filled with stupid air.

“Definitely not. I love you too.” Dan kissed Phil again after deeming his lungs had enough air to continue. His cane was forgotten on the ground and his mum would probably have a heart attack when she gets home but Dan couldn’t bring himself to care. With Phil’s arms wrapped around him, he felt as if nothing bad could happen to them.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! Feedback/Constructive criticism is always welcome!
> 
> Check out my tumblr if you’re interested in more —> https://fadingcrystalvoid.tumblr.com/


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